How to Sit on a Bidet: The Ultimate Guide - Basic Bidet
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How to Sit on a Bidet: The Ultimate Guide

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How to Sit on a Bidet: The Ultimate Guide. So you’re ready to take the plunge and buy a bidet. But how do you use it correctly? The first step is learning how to sit on a bidet — an art form that most Americans have never mastered. For an in-depth guide, see this article.

How to Sit on a Bidet: The Ultimate Guide

We’ll cover everything from where they’re found and their advantages, through basic installation, tips for using your bidet correctly, and also help you decide which type of bidet is best for your bathroom or toilet — including the benefits of each.

How to use a bidet – How to Sit on a Bidet

Bidets, especially those generated by a water-jet or suction cup, are meant to mimic the experience of showering. In doing so, they essentially remove the lather and scent from the water, leaving your skin feeling more luxurious.

Of course, if you’re worried this is a gross thing to do, there’s an app on the App Store that will guide you through the process of how to thoroughly enjoy the fresh, lathering sensation from a bidet. For the purposes of this article, we’ll focus only on basic installation and using a water-jet bidet.

If you choose to install a water-jet water-cleaning bidet, sit down in the bathtub or shower before you do your weekly energy management practice to make sure the suction is connected properly to the fixture.

The main unit (called a cartridge) attaches securely to the wall and water line, while an on/off switch controls the water flow, and a distance switch allows you to adjust the distance between yourself and the water jet.

Should something go wrong, there’s an attachment for a dampening mat that can absorb some of the shock — though, don’t leave it on too long if you’re sensitive to light or sound.

On the top of the cartridge is a reservoir (also known as the tank) that holds enough water pressure to flush out all potentially bad bacteria in your shower — including virus particles, bacteria from shampoos and conditioners, soap scum, and even fecal matter.

The tank measures approximately 7.5″ in diameter, which is large enough to hold quite a bit of water volume — but it’s not too large that it’ll affect how effectively your water flow is maintained.

What is a bidet – How to Sit on a Bidet

The word “bidet” comes from the German “Bunte,” which means “to wipe.”

According to Agatha Clark, author of The Complete Book of Bath Toys, there are actually six types of bidets: An organic unit under the toilet with no fan and no running water; A crank bidet that forces water at high speed and uses a fan to circulate; A airless unit that uses pressure to force water around the tub or toilet bowl; A waterless model that does not use any water; An electric bidet which uses pressure to force water at high speed or pressure; and A bidet that LED’s water for more precise settings.

The latter three only need to be used in conjunction with a waste disposal system.  Maia Barer, Senior Editor at the New York Times, says airless toilets are certified by the American National Standards Institute to be non-polluting but, unlike drip toilets, do not purify water.

On the other hand, as Matthew Brougher says in his excellent Medium post about French toilets: “The most important difference between the French and American toilets is the speed at which they flush — about half a second in the French and American toilets, but a full second in the French.”  If it looks like a Kevin Spacey toilet or something, it is probably a bidet.

Advantages of owning a bidet – How to Sit on a Bidet

Bidets are great for personal hygiene and cleanliness. A bidet is a small toilet attachment that cleans you after you use the bathroom. They are great for people with sensitive skin, who want to avoid harsh chemicals and who want to save money by not using toilet paper.

Bidets apply by pushing water up into your rectum, where it picks up all the germs and neutralizes them, then empties into a reservoir below. Try to navigate around the area around the reservoir (it’s a raised platform), rather than squat on it — a common cause of back and neck problems.

A bidet requires a planetary movement — the user must stay in position for the water to push all the way up your butt. Here in Chicago, a bidet is a must-have because it makes your front-porch floor look better than before. And while it may be a struggle for you, know that it is possible — as long as you follow these tips.

Leaning against the wall and holding the bidet handle with your elbows, spread your butt cheeks as wide as you can in a clockwise direction, while holding the handle with your hands, as shown. That will give you enough room to push the water up after you sit on the toilet. Beginners may need to start with more water; some people find that two or three sprays of water help.

If your hip bones are cramped, you may be able to push the water up with one or two push-ups. To do that, take the bidet handle on one arm, and bend your knees slightly, so that your shins line up with your hands, and then go as high as you can, holding onto the handle with both hands, as shown.

Types of bidets and how to choose – How to Sit on a Bidet

A bidet generally consists of a handle, attached to the front wall of the toilet or bath, and attachments. The attachments are what the handle slides along, and it includes one (or more) inserts for a variety of purposes: for women, there may be a separate strap for stringing a hymen; for men, there could be multiple straps located below the toilet; and so on. [Don’t worry: installing the straps and inserts is usually pretty easy compared to getting them right.

Installation of a bidet: what to know before you buy

If you’re thinking about installing a bidet in your bathroom, here are some things you’ll want to know before you buy. Keep in mind that the bidet is just one option for personal cleansing.

Before plunking down roughly $300 to $600 (depending on where you live), be sure to make a list of the things you’re purging, and be sure to get enough towels and toilet tissue for proper cleansing. If you’re getting a traditional bidet, you may be concerned about the suction, so look for a different model if that’s a concern.

For the most part, these are low-maintenance bidets that will last you 10–12 years. However, they also have the door handle and seat altered, making them a little more complicated to clean than other low-maintenance bidets. However, if the price is right, you may be able to save a few dollars here and there, depending on how much you really care about keeping your bathroom clean.

The easiest bidets are dothan-style devices, and Lespiss offers several models of these that use fast-flowing water rather than water jet at high pressure. Check them out if you’re looking for some cheap options. If you get the seat altered, you’ll also need to clean it regularly, usually once a month or sooner if there have been wipes inside the seat.

Air fresheners are some of the easiest kitchen gadgets you can buy, and they’re even easier to use at home than you might realize. If you are, like me, and want to freshen up during a chilly winter day, installing a single air freshener can cost you less than $20.

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